paradox

I’m stuck in the labyrinth / relapse settled in
ash fall still rules ,the aftermath of emotional warfare
I can’t escape fear , never out of my sight
And to this day , love rots
I left some important information out of the anecdote /fragments and echoes of blue lingers
I cried and cried all the way home
And to this day for a reason I don’t know why /doomsday feels nearer than it was

And they always told me
Don’t be so dramatic
someone is watching you
Acting crazy and frantic
I can hear them screaming now
Through the walls of these
intertwined
And suburban town
I can feel their claws,
gripping and clutching at my crown
Born into a world that’s far from fantastic
I think I’m allowed to be a little dramatic / fool

daggers keep twisting in my chest on a chilling December eve
I couldn’t think straight , never mind ,
breathe /calm
I told people that I’m healing,
but death is the only reality I’ve ever know of ,
the only time I can turn blood into art .
faith should override fear
yet
my consciousness regardless
clutches onto all worst possible outcome that
it can
separating all my disorderly eating stems
and all of the holy grail
from my sheer ignorance
Taunting my bloodstream with dread
crystals overpower me as the smoke settles

And they still have something to say always
Don’t be so dramatic
someone’s always watching you.
Acting crazy and frantic
I can hear them talking
Through the walls of this intertwined
And suburban town
I can feel their claws
gripping and clutching at my crown
Born into a world that’s far from fantastic
I think I’m allowed to be a little dramatic

I feel like I’m slipping
Back into a habit of pure sadness
I feel like I am caught up in a spider web
Back into a moment of pure madness
Do whatever you must to save me
I think he’s coming back
I can feel him creeping through the cracks
I’m not being dramatic when I say
I think my health is slipping away

and Now I know I wasn’t dramatic
I endured myself while being in deep panic
Peace was never an alternative here
Every choice leads to unstoppable tears
But I know in this world which some may seem fantastic
It’s far too dangerous to be this dramatic /cry if you can now .